Monday, August 27, 2007


No: it's not two vests and it's not one vest split in two, it's "getting rid of things".

As In, Since July:

1.) 72 feet (do the metric yourselves) of falling down hedge box - Thank you, Poppa and Juniors

2.) seven (7) SEVEN pick-up loads (blessings on neighbour girls with pick-ups and did I make a mistake by not buying one of my own???) of leftovers of hedge box plus assorted garage and basement ex-treasures as decided by The Junior Girl whilst I was away on the Island - Thank you, Junior Girl and KimUpTheStreet

3.) two bicycles -Thank you, Wierd Woman

4.) one Blue Trout Toyota Tercel - Thank you, again, Wierd Woman

5.) Himself's family home in Nanaimo and, it is to be hoped, contact with a most difficult family member. ~~~~~ pause ~~~~~ I was going to make a link to the (in my mind) many eviction posts but I can't find them and realize that I was too aggravated to write them!! - Thank you, Everyone!!

The house process, although difficult beyond belief at times, was a post-grad course in growing up and taking responsibility. In the end, it was surprisingly easy and the family mess that had trapped Himself for most of his life was not mine and so could be dealt with a la Gordian knot. The tears shed were for the loss of The Senior Boy and all that he had loved about the bush and beach.

The Toyota was another, surprising, tear-jerker. Turns out that though I can't hear Himself's voice in my head, other sounds are evocative. Blue Trout's engine, for instance. Who'da thunk?

And now, for some Acquisitions: Lt Gen Romeo D'Allaire is coming to town. The Junior Girl says he is a MUST. Get your tickets here. Right after him is Ballet Kelowna's new season opening. They have an "interesting" fundraiser planned so: Anyone wanna go line dancing at The Corral??? Tickets for the season opening right here, line dancing the previous weekend here. (At risk of being an embarrassment to The Juniors: what's NOT to like about the advertising picture?)

So: something for the mind and something for the heart.

The balancing and breathing continues.......

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Moments of wierd

Is it just me or is there something odd about a person who arrives to check out a couple of bicycles which she buys and loads into her truck and then takes a look at the driveway full of the as yet nameless RAV, The Jr Boy's Hyooondai, The Cousin's Corolla, the elderly Tercel, and the utility trailer and asks, "Is anything else for sale?" Upon being told that the Tercel is on the block, even though it doesn't have a battery and we haven't run it since it came up from the gully, she says, "How much?" and peels off the crisp new 50s.

She's coming back tomorrow with a battery.

Hope it'll start.

Hope the ink doesn't come off the 50s.

Not quite hyper-ventilating......

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Where does the time go?

Summer is slipping away. I needed a sweater this morning for my walk; it was dark before bedtime last night. I was surprised by summer this year and not ready for it. E.g.,: Berte-the-MGB spent the driving season in the now-clean (oh the joys of children on summer breaks....) garage b/c I couldn't get my act together to do the licensing in between the trips to the Island to deal with The Estate. At least he is sitting in cleanliness and has the hard top on and will be given a lovely wash this week before covering him with the winter blanket. He probably should have had a bunch of car things done which haven't been and I hope he will forgive me or that someone who knows what I should be doing will tell me......

Everyone who doesn't know says the first year is the worst. I beg to differ. In the first year, loss is all new and horrible and never-ending. The difference between year one and year two is that the loss is no longer new. It has become a part of who I am and it informs my life in the way that an amputation informs the life of the amputee. I thought I was still expecting Himself to come home and I realize that I am no longer expecting that but I keep hoping he will magically ride into the driveway and this will all be a bad dream. I know in my mind that's not going to happen but the mind doesn't always win. I continue to be caught by the moments and smack of his absence: not needing to call home when I'm going to be late, choosing to use the push mower b/c it's easier, a shirt forgotten in a suitcase, the list of house jobs he was planning (1.: fix tile in bathroom) (fyi: the "three week, no problem" reno is still unfinished), a pansy pressed between pages of an old textbook....

So many "things" have been dealt with and dealt with well this past year.
What will I do when all the projects are done?

The breathing continues - thanks be for the autonomic nervous system....