Monday, June 01, 2009

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,

Two things:

1. Rowing (as in sculling) is my new drug of choice

2. The Garden Refuse Guys are messing with me again. To wit: Today is Rowing Day (see above) which means I am out of here by 0545h (yes, I am surprised to be up at that hour not to mention clothed and more or less in my right mind). Habit requires that the garbage goes out on Mondays and that the Garden Refuse goes out on alternate Mondays. Today was an alternate. Have I mentioned that I live on an interface (and, yes, I watched that picture happen 6 years ago) and am surrounded by pine and fir trees which, unlike deciduous trees, shed their #%$*ing needles year round building up a lovely, combustible mat on the ground which must be removed either by raking or by horror. I prefer raking and spend time every other week doing it because the eejits who run the Garden Refuse Program don't understand that a bunch of pine and fir trees can drop a schwack-load of needles in a season.
So: I put the full GR and the 1/4 full garbage cans out at the end of the driveway before leaving this morning.
They never get here before noon but it was one less thing to think about and besides I was going for coffee after rowing.
I get home before noon. The neighbourhood is full of GR and garbage cans and I think: Oh Goody! Next Door and Across-the-Street haven't used their GR cans (got rid of most of their pine trees, smartie pantses). I call and leave message at the one and have a conversation at the other leaving me up two more GR cans. Hot Diggity!! I load 'em both up and wheel them to their respective driveway ends (the new system doesn't allow for more borrowing neighbour's cans and putting at the end on one's own driveway so the pine needles get a little travelling time before the GR Guys arrive. I hope they enjoy the change of location. Dodgasted pine needles. And cones. And knapweed. Ahemmmmm)
Feeling full of righteousness and fresh air, I mosey back into the driveway and notice a dandelion ready to go to seed. It is but the twitch of my mighty rowing muscles to wrench it from the ground. I mosey back to my GR can to pop it in on top of the stuff I collected earlier this week. I open the lid.

It is for moments such as this that the word Sh**********t!!!!!!!!!! was invented.

The GR F*ckers have already picked up the Garden Refuse.

Understand: MY GR can is empty, my neighbours' GR cans are now full because I was making the Assumption ( I know, I know, assume makes an Ass out of U and Me) that the GR pickup time had not changed and, because other people's GR cans were still out there, the GR was TOO!!!


So, now I have: one empty GR can (mine) and one full GR can (Next-Door Neighbour's) in my driveway waiting for next pick-up in two weeks time. After coming inside for a little rest and perhaps some restorative, I went out to collect Across-the-Street-Neighbour's too, but it had disappeared.

The GR Guys came back this afternoon and made the pass on the other side of the street.

Still breathing.....


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